(Via Jennifer Curtis)
I never really bought the whole "god" thing. From an early age my family went to mass on special occasions, or to participate in family functions. My mother and father only took us to church out of some weird traditional obligation, and the first memories of youth services were of choreographed song and dances with oppressive themes like spelling out the word "obey" and lame music. Around 13 or so my mother threatened me with private catholic school and I told her I'd drop out if she did (there were no music programs in this private school).
When I reached high school I made friends with a bunch of nice girls who all attended a Methodist church across the street from my house. Since it was right next door, and all my friends went there and my parents supported me in this, I went regularly. The people there were all very nice and helped the community out quite a bit, but I never felt any different than before. I never experienced any presence in my life, nothing got better or worse because of it. I did meet some very special people out of this place who have made a very big difference in my life.
During my "church" years, I avoided involving myself too deeply with these people, as nice as they were. I never signed up for mission work or participated in their musicals (even as a musician), I just couldn't make myself. Somehow, even though it was the "right" thing to do, it felt wrong. So I eventually stopped going, and only showed up for "holidays."
During all my education, I learned of all the horrible things that were done in the name of "god" and religion across the world. Coming to age right after 9/11, I've witnessed enough of my own to take interest. I read and researched endlessly. I discovered the biggest lie ever... GOD. Why can't everyone else see that their god was created to control them? Their is no after-life where you get to party with your whole family, pets and all, looking and feeling great... You only get one time... Do what comes natural, it's okay to be human...
I never had a really bad "church" experience, and during my earlier years, all the people I met because of it were good people. I just paid attention in my history classes and asked questions. Science can answer almost any question I've come up with, and is continually answering more everyday. Logic and reason seem to be the only things you can't use with god... you can't ask "why?" and get an answer. It just doesn't make any sense...
It doesn't make any sense...
Never Really Bought It
(Via jono)
From the early years, I vaguely remember going to church and getting in trouble from the Sunday School teacher for not bringing my quarter to put in the little Church-Piggy Bank.
My parents took us out of that church, but my sister and I were going to a Lutheran school where we had to go to chapel everyday. This inane process was only fun because we tried to say obscene things at higher and higher volumes to see who could get away with yelling "Penis!" at the top of his lungs.
We stopped going there after I completed kindergarten (yes, we were yelling "Penis!" in kindergarten. I spent a lot of time in the Principal's office) and we didn't start going to church again until I was in 4th grade.
To be honest, I think it was this time off that saved me. I imagine these are quite formative years in a child's life. Years in which Sunday School teachers literally beat the word of their god into you. I remember looking around at all my friends and feeling completely alone and dark in a big scary world because I was the only one that didn't know off the top of my head that it was DANIEL that was sent into the lion's den, not Claude Balls.
Throughout Middle and High School I was very involved in the youth group and youth choir at my church, and I enjoyed it very much. However I still just ducked away from the "How's your walk with Jesus going?" or "Do you do your devotions every day?" questions. I just enjoyed being around a bunch of girls in the youth group.
In college I went through some non-Christian activities, such as rugby team beer chugging fests and what-not. After college, my sweetheart and I were married (It's been about a year and a half now. Old married couple...) and we were going to church in our town. I was paying attention in church and reading my Bible and making notes, underlining Jesus' statements that I thought might be useful when telling my possible future kids how to live.
Then, it kind of all came crashing down. I started thinking about the whole thing. I read The Golden Compass and heard about how evil Philip Pullman is. I started reading about atheism and learning that it was, in fact, NOT evil. Then I realized it. I've been an atheist all this time and never knew it. I always thought that there was no way there was a dude up in the sky listening to me. The first time I heard about evolution, I bought it hook, line, and sinker. It all made so much sense, whereas Christianity never did.
So there you have it. You know how some religious folks tell you that Jesus is already in your life, you just have to notice him and weird shit like that? It's the exact opposite for me. And I am proud to say that I am an atheist.
It is one of the best things I've ever done in my life.
