Never Really Bought It

(Via jono)

From the early years, I vaguely remember going to church and getting in trouble from the Sunday School teacher for not bringing my quarter to put in the little Church-Piggy Bank.

My parents took us out of that church, but my sister and I were going to a Lutheran school where we had to go to chapel everyday. This inane process was only fun because we tried to say obscene things at higher and higher volumes to see who could get away with yelling "Penis!" at the top of his lungs.

We stopped going there after I completed kindergarten (yes, we were yelling "Penis!" in kindergarten. I spent a lot of time in the Principal's office) and we didn't start going to church again until I was in 4th grade.

To be honest, I think it was this time off that saved me. I imagine these are quite formative years in a child's life. Years in which Sunday School teachers literally beat the word of their god into you. I remember looking around at all my friends and feeling completely alone and dark in a big scary world because I was the only one that didn't know off the top of my head that it was DANIEL that was sent into the lion's den, not Claude Balls.

Throughout Middle and High School I was very involved in the youth group and youth choir at my church, and I enjoyed it very much. However I still just ducked away from the "How's your walk with Jesus going?" or "Do you do your devotions every day?" questions. I just enjoyed being around a bunch of girls in the youth group.

In college I went through some non-Christian activities, such as rugby team beer chugging fests and what-not. After college, my sweetheart and I were married (It's been about a year and a half now. Old married couple...) and we were going to church in our town. I was paying attention in church and reading my Bible and making notes, underlining Jesus' statements that I thought might be useful when telling my possible future kids how to live.

Then, it kind of all came crashing down. I started thinking about the whole thing. I read The Golden Compass and heard about how evil Philip Pullman is. I started reading about atheism and learning that it was, in fact, NOT evil. Then I realized it. I've been an atheist all this time and never knew it. I always thought that there was no way there was a dude up in the sky listening to me. The first time I heard about evolution, I bought it hook, line, and sinker. It all made so much sense, whereas Christianity never did.

So there you have it. You know how some religious folks tell you that Jesus is already in your life, you just have to notice him and weird shit like that? It's the exact opposite for me. And I am proud to say that I am an atheist.

It is one of the best things I've ever done in my life.