It doesn't make any sense...

(Via Jennifer Curtis)

I never really bought the whole "god" thing. From an early age my family went to mass on special occasions, or to participate in family functions. My mother and father only took us to church out of some weird traditional obligation, and the first memories of youth services were of choreographed song and dances with oppressive themes like spelling out the word "obey" and lame music. Around 13 or so my mother threatened me with private catholic school and I told her I'd drop out if she did (there were no music programs in this private school).

When I reached high school I made friends with a bunch of nice girls who all attended a Methodist church across the street from my house. Since it was right next door, and all my friends went there and my parents supported me in this, I went regularly. The people there were all very nice and helped the community out quite a bit, but I never felt any different than before. I never experienced any presence in my life, nothing got better or worse because of it. I did meet some very special people out of this place who have made a very big difference in my life.

During my "church" years, I avoided involving myself too deeply with these people, as nice as they were. I never signed up for mission work or participated in their musicals (even as a musician), I just couldn't make myself. Somehow, even though it was the "right" thing to do, it felt wrong. So I eventually stopped going, and only showed up for "holidays."

During all my education, I learned of all the horrible things that were done in the name of "god" and religion across the world. Coming to age right after 9/11, I've witnessed enough of my own to take interest. I read and researched endlessly. I discovered the biggest lie ever... GOD. Why can't everyone else see that their god was created to control them? Their is no after-life where you get to party with your whole family, pets and all, looking and feeling great... You only get one time... Do what comes natural, it's okay to be human...

I never had a really bad "church" experience, and during my earlier years, all the people I met because of it were good people. I just paid attention in my history classes and asked questions. Science can answer almost any question I've come up with, and is continually answering more everyday. Logic and reason seem to be the only things you can't use with god... you can't ask "why?" and get an answer. It just doesn't make any sense...