Allen M's Story

I'm not that old, a little under 17. I don't remember a lot of my childhood, a few little patches of memory up until I was about nine of ten. I suppose I never believed in god, although my memory kicks in at nine, at this point I was a little scared because I didn't get that 'special feeling' in church that people always talked about. I promptly freaked out, prayed as often as I could, carried a small bible with me, and generally did all the things good catholics do.

Eventually, in the Summer of 2002, we moved to a town called Visalia, California. My mother, both a Catholic and Republican, took me to a shop called 'The Crystal Barn'. As you probably guessed, I was stunned at all these 'alternative religion' books. I picked up a few, and that started my spiritual marching. I guess it was just excellent timing, because we had just recently gotten a half decent computer, and my parents were letting me use the internet more and more. I studied Wicca, the LeVeyan Satanism (more accurately called Humanism with a dash of supernatural), and other various assorted religions.

For a time I went under the title of Wicca, my views at the time drawn more to the supernatural. Fast forward to the Winter of 2004, I had moved to Reno, Nevada within the last two months or so. I had heard the term Atheist mentioned once or twice, and my faith in a God and Goddess had wained severely. I can't exactly say when I started calling myself an Atheist, but call myself I did, and for a while it was fine.

In mid-2005, my parents started going back to church again, and they signed me up for Sunday school (which, oddly enough, was on a Monday). Needless to say, I wasn't very pleased. I guess it was around October, and my mother had picked me and my sister up. Somehow, the topic turned to Creationism, and I mentioned how I thought it was a load of crap, and had no scientific backing. My mother then asked a very direct question, do you believe in Evolution. Of course, all this is a dried up version, I mentioned that it made more sense, and there were lots of tears on her side. We got home and My mother, my father, and I all sat down and had a talk. Needless to say, there were a few more tears, and a few angry glares.

It is now mid-way through 2007, I am a proud Atheist who can hold his own in a debate with a Theist, be it about not having a god, or about my belief in Evolution. I suppose that if I had continued on my 'dying to believe in god' trend, I might not be in this world right now. But I didn't, and I realized that is no way to view life. It is the only one I have, and I am damned well going to try to enjoy every minute of it, not spend it hunched over praying the next one is better.


Anonymous said...

i congratulate you on your decision.

tina said...

Yes, I do too.